Thank you Stephen Colbert

By E&P StaffPublished: April 29, 2006 11:40 PM ET updated SundayWASHINGTON

A blistering comedy "tribute" to President Bush by ComedyCentral's faux talk
show host Stephen Colbert at the White HouseCorrespondent Dinner Saturday night
left George and Laura Bush unsmiling at its close. Earlier, the president had
delivered his talk to the 2700 attendees, including many celebrities and top
officials, with the help of a Bush impersonator.

Colbert, who spoke in the guise of his talk show character, who ostensibly supports the president strongly, urged the Bush to ignore his low approval ratings, saying they were based on reality, "and reality has a well-known liberal bias."He attacked those in the press who claim that the shake-up at the WhiteHouse was merely
re-arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. "Thisadministration is soaring, not
sinking," he said. "If anything, they arere-arranging the deck chairs on the
Hindenburg."

Colbert told Bush he could end the problem of protests by retired generals by refusing to let them retire. He compared Bush to Rocky Balboa in the"Rocky" movies, always getting punched in the face�"and Apollo Creed is everything else in the world."

Turning to the war, he declared,
"I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have setup a fabulous government in Iraq."

He noted former Ambassador Joseph Wilson in the crowd, just three tables away from Karl Rove, and that he had brought " Valerie Plame." Then, worried that he had named her, he corrected himself, as Bush aides might do, "Uh, I mean... he brought Joseph Wilson's wife." He might have "dodged the bullet,"he said, as prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald wasn't there.

Colbert also made biting cracks about missing WMDs, "photo ops" on aircraft carriers and at hurricane disasters, melting glaciers and Vice PresidentCheney shooting people
in the face. He advised the crowd, "if anybody needsanything at their tables, speak slowly and clearly on into your table numbers and somebody from the N.S.A. will be right over with a cocktail. "

Observing that Bush sticks to his principles, he said, "When the presidentdecides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday - no matterwhat happened Tuesday."Also lampooning the press, Colbert complained that he was "surrounded by the liberal media who are destroying this country, except for Fox News. Fox believes in presenting both sides of the story � the president's side andthe vice president's side."

He also reflected on the alleged good old days,when the media was still
swallowing the WMD story. Addressing the reporters, he said, "Let's review the
rules. Here's how it works. The president makes decisions, he's the decider. The
press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type
those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Put them through a spell check and
go home. Getto know your family again. Make love to your wife. Write that novel
you got kicking around in your head. You know, the one about the intrepid
Washington reporter with the courage to stand up to the administration. You know--fiction."

He claimed that the Secret Service name for Bush's new press secretary is"Snow Job."Colbert closed his routine with a video fantasy where he gets to be WhiteHouse Press Secretary, complete with a special "Gannon"button on his podium. By the end, he had to run from Helen Thomas and her questions about why the U.S. really invaded Iraq and killed all those people.As Colbert walked from the podium, when it was over, the president and First Lady gave him quick nods, unsmiling. The president shook his hand and tapped his elbow, and left immediately. Those seated near Bush told E&P's Joe Strupp, who was elsewhere in the room,that Bush had quickly turned from an amused guest to an obviously offended target as Colbert's comments brought up his low
approval ratings and problems in Iraq.

Several veterans of past dinners, who requested anonymity, said thepresentation was more directed at attacking the president than in the past. Several said previous hosts, like Jay Leno, equally slammed both the WhiteHouse and the press corps."This was anti-Bush," said one attendee. "Usually they go back and forthbetween us and him." Another noted that Bush quickly turned unhappy, and left the dais shortly after while most seated near him, including Colbert and Snow, glad-handed the crowd. "You could see he stopped smiling abouthalfway through Colbert," he reported.

After the gathering, Snow, while nursing a Heineken outside the Chicago Tribune reception, declined to comment on Colbert. "I'm not doing entertainment reviews," he said. "I thought the president was great, though." Strupp, in the crowd during the
Colbert routine, had observed that quite afew sitting near him looked a little
uncomfortable at times, perhaps feeling the material was a little too biting--or
too much speaking "truthiness" to power.

Asked by E&P after it was over if he thought he'd been too harsh, Colbert said, "Not at all." Was he trying to make a point politically or just get laughs? "Just for laughs," he said. He said he did not pull any material forbeing too strong, just for time reasons. (He later said the president told him "good job" when he walked off.)Helen Thomas told Strupp her segment with Colbert was "just for fun."In its report on the affair, USA Today asserted that some in the crowd cracked up over Colbert but others were "bewildered."

Wolf Blitzer of CNN said he thought Colbert was funny and "a little on the edge."Earlier, the president had addressed the crowd with a Bush impersonator alongside, with the faux-Bush speaking precisely and the real Bush deliberately mispronouncing words, such as the inevitable "nuclear." At theclose, Bush called the imposter "a fine talent. In fact, he did all my debates with Senator Kerry." The routine went over well with the crowd --better than did Colbert's, in fact. Among attendees at the black tie event: Morgan Fairchild, quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, Justice Antonin Scalia, George Clooney, and Jeff "Skunk" Baxter of the Doobie
Brothers--in a kilt.